Monday, January 14, 2008

Stairway to heaven

The plan was to hit the weights. But first, the plan also calls for quick 10 min warm up! Ugh! I hate warming up for weights.

I mean logically it makes sense but’s just weights, the muscles will warm up after the first set (or they’ll hank apart and I’ll be d.o.n.e!)

Not wanting to temp the gods, I decided the warm up was in order.

What to do??

Walk/run: No seems too much like every other day
Elliptical machine: As if!

OK, I got it.

Steve in a Speedo is planning on doing the Empire State Building Run-up which basically means that he’ll run up 86 flights (1,576 steps).

I’ll try out the Stairmaster, that sounds like fun!

First mission is finding the machines. Back row next to wall (perfectly placed so that one misstep will send me flying into the wall, but not to worry, the wall is also a mirror, so that everyone walking by can see my big fat ass struggling up the steps. PERFECT!)

6 machines, three all broken with signs, one machine has Ms. 90 year old grandma, sweating to the oldies, which leaves two machines left. One is right next to her; the other is at the other end of the row.

Not wanting to look like I’m hitting on Grandma, I choose the last machine. do work this thing. As soon as I step on it, it starts moving, bringing visions of me splattered into the mirror. Finally get to the top of the machine and spend the next minute trying to step and read and push buttons only to determine that this machine is also out for repairs.

OK, Fine. Next to Grandma it is.

This time I know the machine will start moving, so I’m prepared. Unfortunately I’m not ACTUALLY prepared and stare at the console so long that Grandma leans over and helps me.

GREAT! Big ego booster.

10 minutes. I only need to go for ten minutes. Pick any program, can’t be that hard for 10 minutes.

1 minute – nothing. So I bump the level up. Say to a level 5.

1 minute 10 seconds – Holy Crap! I want off!

1 minute 15 seconds – I want off and I want off now!

2 minutes – Starting to see stars.

It’s only ten minutes right, just HTFU and get it done. Glance over at Grandma.

Did I say sweating to the oldies? There is not a drop of sweat on her perfectly historically preserved face. Not one (1) drop. Look down at her feet. Step, step, step, step. Perfect form; no rush; no break; great stride. Me? Step…..step..STEP……..step. Yeah not so much.

I try to look at how long she’s been going for but she’s reading her gossip magazine.

Um...reading?? Hello?! I can barely see straight let alone read! Even my instrument console takes some serious concentration to make out.

10 minutes can’t come soon enough and finally when it does, I can’t wait to hit the weights, I can’t wait to do anything besides this machine.

Apparently, I can’t wait so much that I misstep. Yep! Exactly! Mirror city here I come!

Flying through the air, the only thing I can think of is….$H1T!!! (I mean really, all those people who say they think of their loved ones or their long lost dog…CRAP! The only thing I’m thinking of is how much this sucks) (Honey, if you're reading this, I thought only of you, I swear!)

By the grace of God, some Genius put hand rails on the machine. This and my lightning fast reflexes (like Bruce Lee!) save me from seppuku by mirror shard.

Never been happier to be off a machine. Grandma was happy to see me go too (Young whippersnappers!)


Second week done for the Training plan!

Week 2 was:

Monday – Run 4.5 mi
Tuesday – Rest (Run 1 mile)
Wednesday – Run 3.5 (tempo); Swim 900
Thursday – Bike 1 hour (spin)
Friday – Strength (Stairmaster)
Saturday – Swim 1300 yds (Also ran a 5 K [10 min/mi!!])
Sunday – Bike 22 miles (First group ride!)

Also, on Saturday, the Las Vegas Tri Group met for drinks and social. There I meet up with Stef and her husband Glenn. Hi Guys! We’ll definitely have to go out and train together someday soon.


Stef0115 said...

Hi, it was great meeting you guys as well! We will definitely need to get together for training soon.

Btw your stairmaster experience made me laugh. I cannot remember the last time I got on one of those things!

IronTriTim said...

LMAO, I bet if the grandma has a blog she's writing about the youngster who thought he was all that and almost fell off the stairclimb! Warmup.. yeah I hate doing those in the gym as well.

S. Baboo said...

Ok, you have me convinced that ALL excercise related machines are EVIL...I'm sticking to suffering through the cold, rain or heat.

Rachel said...

LOL! This was really funny. I never warm up before weights. I just sort of start with light weights and let my muscles warm up with weights. Then again, I usually do weights as a recovery workout so I'm a little weird.

You asked about strides. Sorry I took so long to respond. There are probably lots of different ways to do them but strides are a way to warm up your legs for a track workout and prepare to go faster. You elongate and quicken your stride so that you're just under an all-out sprint. I like to do them on the straight-aways of a track, using the corners to recover. Hope this helps!

Ryan said...

So when is the date between you and Granny? Ha!

rocketpants said...

ohhh...i hate the stairmaster. I bet you made Grandma laugh all day long :-)