Monday, May 12, 2008

DFL – SG Tri Report

Warning: this is not a pity party. This is the way it is. Some times tri’s suck and sometimes you suck in them. This is one of those times. I created this blog to show the world that normal suck-y people exist in the Tri world.

With that…

It’s got to be tough for a RD. Imagine looking over your swim course and seeing whitecaps. You feel the wind gusting at the athletes. Everyone is either cowered in the water or grouped up on land to stay warm. You look into the eyes of each athlete and see either the fear of the swim or the desire to tackle this impossible sea. It’s a tough call; these people paid a lot of money to be out here. They’ve signed the waivers, they know the danger. If you ask them, a majority of them will say they’re ready. But are they ready for death? Are they ready to be drowned out there in those swells? Waves are coming over the sides of the rescue boats and the kayakers are struggling to stay in position. Do you cancel the swim and piss of the die-hards or do you go for it and risk shattered egos and slow swims as people struggle with the ocean-like waves? Or worse, do you worry about the risk of death, it could happen out here. With waves like this and beginner swimmers who only know the comfort of the pool and guided lanes. People who don’t know how to handle the waves. How to deal with the lack of visibility and no clear way to site. With waves coming at you from every direction and every third breath is a mouthful of water.

Finally as a last ditch compromise, you decide to let the Olympic people go, thinking that they’ll bitch the most. You cancel the swim for the Sprint people and have them do the bike and the run.

Swim time = 55:38 (it was rough, it was brutal, but I survived)


The nice thing about a swim that sucks the life from you is that when it’s over all you want to do is lay down on the boat ramp and take a nap. Maybe cozy up to a nice hot chocolate, some quality porn and pass out.

But wait! There is still a 25 mile ride ahead of you. But first don’t forget to stumble your dizzy, discombobulated ass around the Transition zone looking for your bike. Grab your nutrition, helmet, bike, shoes, race belt, gloves and go! Umm…wetsuit? Take that off! OK, Now go!

T1 = 5:51


I know what you're worried about. You’re worried that I spent so much time on the swim and T1 and now there will be no wind left for me on the bike? NO, no worries mate! There is more than enough wind for me on the bike.

Which is a good thing too! I looked over the results of last year and the year before that (and the year before that …) and was astonished to see how fast the times were. This is a fast course! I’ll be smokin’ out there! I don’t know if I can handle a fast ride on the bike.

The wind too care of that. No worries mate! Instead of flying along at 20 mph, I was lucky to scrape out a measly 13.5 mph. No worries about breaking the speed barrier here.
Oh! And those Sprint people? Now would be a good time to let them go on the bike. Because there is NOTHING better than being passed by 100+ people on their nice fresh legs out to take their anger on the bike course.

On a good note, due to law of averages, I was bound to get a break sometime! Despite the wind ever changing direction, it was able to propel me down ‘the hill’ at a nice clip. Finally broke the 40 mph mark. Screaming down the mountain at 47 mph, now that’s worth the price of admission right there!

Bike = 1:45:35


Because the bike was so easy, now is a good time to active ‘operation body failure’. Begin IT band issue on right knee. Now that I’m reduced to a hobble walk/run of 11 min-miles, begin phase two and activate IT band issue on left knee.

Perfect! I have now achieved 14 min-miles! Nice and slow. Just like I practiced. Of course, previously my HR was low and I was running slow on purpose, now I’m running slow because of the pain and I am walking if the trail has too many rocks. Why? Because having rocks requires me to lift my feet more than two inches off the ground. The IT doesn’t like that idea. Either i kick my foot out to the side or I walk. It may work for Hillary, but it doesn’t work for me.

Run = 1:21:38

All that equals up to:…….Dead F@#$%ing Last! Woohoo! Dead last in my age group.

Good news! I PR’d!

That’s the benefit of having a horrible first Oly. It’s all up from here!

Lesson(s) learned:

  • Swim more
  • Bike more
  • Run more

Other than that it was GREAT!


Special thanks to Stef for carpooling with me up there. Now you know it was a rough swim, if Stef doesnt like it!


Stef0115 said...

Dude this is one KICK ASS race report. I laughed my ass off. Your humor is just GREAT!

I was DFL in my age group at Rage -- JOIN THE CLUB. We still love tri-ing.

In my opinion you rocked out there. Look at that swim you now have in your mental arsenal. Plus you have conveyed a sense of humor about the whole thing, and that is a great thing for people to read, no matter what their experience level or past times are.

Stef0115 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stef0115 said...

P.S. Glenn and I were just AGAPE at the cluster---- that was created when they apparently decided to let ALL of the sprinters into and out of transition before all of the OLY athletes who made it through that swim got out of transition.

That just seemed so WRONG! I was actually afraid I would miss seeing you in the crowd.

Ryan said...

You are right.

I always smile after quality porn, and a swim finish, and I'm a decent swimmer.

Your report is hilarious.

Instead of DFL, just remember, you got the most racing time for your money of all of your age group. . . .

So basically, you are the best triathlon shopper of your age group.

Now you are #1

Well done, and smart shopping!!!!

Borsch said...

Great report, but that sounds like a sucky day! At least you made it through and learned a few lessons. :-)

Team Brazo said...

That is what it is all about -- getting out there and getting it done. Doesn't matter if it is DFL or DFF -- who cares -- it is about finishing the day and getting ready for the next one.

Great job -- Great Post...

The Stretch Doc said...

and now worries mate.. I was DFL in my age group at Rage!!
Hey, we should start a club!! lol..
Great job on getting it done!!

PS. your ready for a 70.3!!

Calyx Meredith said...

Found your blog thru Stef - and love your race report! You give me hope - and side stitches from laughing. I know I will find myself saying "No worries mate" the next time (probably today) that things don't go the way I planned. Thanks and I'll be back to read more!

S. Baboo said...

Sounds like a hard day but you were able to gut it out. Get some good recovery.

IronTriTim said...

DFL is far better than DNF. Way to go.I can honestly say quality porn has never crossed my mind upon exiting a swim! Maybe its just me :-)